What Did I Just Say?

When you’re young, you have those things that you’ve heard others say that you swear you’ll never say.  These are not those.  These are things I haven't considered saying before now.  Sometimes, I laugh after hearing what has just rolled off my tongue. I'm sharing so that maybe you, too, can have a little chuckle with me.

1.       Get the glue gun and Velcro…the screens on the windows are coming loose.

2.       Turn…turn…turn…no...I don’t see any blood. 

3.       How many days have you worn those socks?  2?  Sure, you can wear them again today.

4.       Don’t throw that ziplock bag away.  I'll wash it and hang it out on the clothes line to reuse.

5.       The kitchen’s flooding….AGAIN!

6.       No thank you – I don’t need a live chicken today.

7.       Quick, blend everything we need for dinner...the power is flickering.

8.       Don’t put the eggs in the fridge; just sit them on the counter…I’ll wash the poop off as I use them.

9.       Expiration date was when?  Two weeks ago?  We’re good; it’s only a suggestion.

10.   Is that a live animal on that motor bike with 4 other people?  Yup!

11.   Uuuugggghhh – I just fried another electrical device!

12.   Open the oven door to let out some of the heat; otherwise the nobs start melting!  [Our oven doesn't have a thermostat.]

13.   As usual, you look nice today, sir. [speaking to the working farmer who is wearing slacks, a button-up and a blazer.]

14.   To the left, to the left… (repetitively singing Beyonce’s song while driving to remind myself to stay on the left side of the road.)

15.   Could someone bring me a bucket of water to fill up the toilet?

16.   Hurry, get the clothes off the line – they just set the trash on fire again!

17.   Why does it sound like there’s a [fill in any given animal] right outside of our window?  Oh, because there is. 

18.   It’s 65 degrees.  You know you should have on your toboggan, gloves and coat to go to school.

19.   Relax.  I know it's time for church to start, but we’ve got another 10 minutes before we’re actually late.

20.   Scalp ringworm, you say?  Is that better or worse than lice?

Until next time…[hopefully my head will have stopped itching by then.]